The Bratty Girlfriend

"What!" I said as I was barely able take in what I was hearing, "Your girlfriend got tasered by a police officer for asking to use the bathroom?" I was never a big fan of police brutality, and in many cases I feel that the police men are out of line, but this time I wasn't so sure because I knew this girl.Our buddy started dating her couple of years earlier, so we began spending more and more time with her like any couple would when one of their single friends finds a new mate. Our friend was the flashy salesman type, although he would talk your ear off denying that he was anything like his piers, it was obvious to anyone that would listen he didn't fall very far from the tree. So it was no surprise to us when he started dating a flashy pretty blond with the occasional attitude.
It is a funny dynamic when you get older that you don't necessarily make friends on your own, you make friends as a couple. If I was going to be friends with someone, my wife better like them or I am naturally not going to spend that much time with them. It is similar when my wife makes a new friend. We do not lord over each other waving a control wand; we just really enjoy being together so if we are going to bring someone or a new group into our mix, we want it to be comfortable for everyone. With kids now this dynamic gets even more complicated.
Most of our friends these days come as a pair, so we have to accept them as a pair. In some cases the significant other makes the friend that much better to hang around, and other times the significant other is the reason we do not spend any more time with these friends. The funny thing is that I am sure my wife and I have had the same effect on others that we do not see anymore, especially when a soft-spoken open minded-girl like my wife ended up dating then marrying an outspoken type A guy like me. Either way in this case we accepted our friend for who he was, so we accepted his new girlfriend for whom she was. Even if it appeared on the outside like they made each other miserable it was not our position to say anything.
As time passed and we retold the story to other friends they often reacted the same way we did when we first found out, "What, are you kidding me? She is only like 110 lbs, why would a police officer use such force?" Then to be fair and not leave out a very important part of the equation we would say, "Well you see, this girl in particular is rather opinionated", which was our nice way of saying, "a brat." What we didn't have to say because it is pretty much common knowledge is that when a little bratty girl grows into a woman, calling them a brat is just a nice way of saying, "Well this girl is pretty much a Bit*h if she doesn't get her way."
The problem with having a belief template that is not open to being wrong or having the ability to be corrected is you become a victim of blind certainty which is a close mindedness that amounts to an imprisonment so total that the prisoner doesn't even know that they are locked up. This is similar to a religious fundamentalist that feels that their understanding of the scriptures is the only accurate interpretation. Individuals with blind certainty have closed their mind from accepting any other interpretation than their own. When they feel that their belief system is threatened either by their own conscious or social surroundings they become defensive, irritable and cruel. Acting in a similar manner to that of a spoiled toddler that can't understand why they have to share the toys with others kids in the room.
We found out later that on this afternoon when she got tasered by the police officer she was attempting to re-enter an establishment that she had just left to use the bathroom. Which I think everyone can agree that there is nothing wrong with this. The problem was that the restaurant was at full capacity with a line outside so they were not letting anyone in. The doorman had no way of knowing if she had left the building or not, and it didn't really matter he was just following the rules. In a normal circumstance you can ask nicely and the problem is solved or you move on. However, if you go through your life with a sense of entitlement and opinions derived from a belief template that you can't keep to yourself, strange things can occur. Police officers are called in, they feel threatened or are in no mood to put up with your bantering, next thing you know they are making an example out of you and you're the one getting hauled off to the police station with an irregular heart beat and a bruise on your arm from a taser because you didn't know that sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut.
It was no surprise that she ranted and raved to anyone that would listen to her about how wrong the police officer was and how she was the victim. In her mind and according to her belief system she was the victim. She was unable find an attorney that would take her case to court; after meeting her, reading the police report and testimonies from eye witnesses they all advised her to plea guilty in attempt to avoid facing a jury.
Ricky Coburn is a regular contributor to http://thatsmeinsideyourhead.com/ a collection of short stories and poems for his children, and http://puravidaculture.com/ a personal blog about family life and sustainability.

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