Thursday, February 23, 2012

Trial Separation: How to Make It Work

A trial separation is a split up of a couple that is informal. It differs from legal separation in that it is an arrangement that is purely personal and does not need legal proceedings. The couple can later choose to reconcile or continue with a divorce. With a marital trial separation, both of the couple can experience some of the emotions that are associated with being separated without the final decision to divorce. Its main advantage is that it can be reversed. You can try living without your spouse for a time, go into counseling then reconcile. You can also try the setup for a time and the go on with a divorce.So is momentary separation vital factor in deciding to divorce or reconcile?
This is a tough question. The process works for some couples but it can be detrimental to others. In having major changes in your life, a new set of sentiments and emotions is supposed to spark up. When you finish college for instance, you make huge plans and dream of conquering the world. When you marry, you look forward to having a family, getting your new home and having an active participation in your community.
An entirely new set of dynamics is brought about by trial separation. It is a message to the couple that their union can be saved. It means there is hope but you need to take stock of what happened in the years that you were married. Questions such as "can our relationship be rebuilt by putting distance between ourselves" or what have we done wrong" are all very common.
With a trial separation, it means that the willingness and desire exist on the part of both couples to avoid drastic measures such as divorce. It confirms that the husband and wife are still in love with each other. The process is also a reflective examination of your conscience. It is natural for people to commit mistakes. By separating temporarily, partners will have the time think and be with their feelings and thoughts. Thus, marital trial separation is basically a chance to have an inner look and reflect on the issues and solutions that may be available for the marriage.
There are people who think that trial separations just hide a bad marriage, which cannot be saved or a superficial solution to a failed marriage. Some thinks that couples just like to avoid the huge expenses associated with a divorce so the next best thing to do is trial separation.
Separating, no matter how temporary, needs planning. The classic scene of packing and announcing "I need to leave you because I have to give time to myself" is too abrupt. Both partners should agree to the separation calmly, honestly and logically. You need to be calm because any strong emotion will affect your judgment, honestly because you need to establish whether the separation is really a good alternative to divorce and logically because communication between you and your spouse is vital in trial separation.
To know more about trial separation and how you can use it to improve your relationship, visit my site at http://www.marriagetrialseparationblog.org/

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