Who Picks Up the Bill? How Gender Role Expectations Ruin Relationships

Every single one of us are raised with different expectations of how we are meant to behave according to our gender. Culture plays a huge role, as does the expectations of the society around us: friends, family, television, etc.There are multiple problems that differences in gender role expectations cause. From the very first interaction, gender roles play a part. Who initiates contact? Who asks who out?
Even after the first, second, and third waves of feminism, it's not uncommon to hear questions such as "Is it okay for me to ask him out?" or comments such as "She came on way too strong." There are still supposed "rules" for how a woman should behave during the courting ritual and how a man should go about pursuing her.
A man recently told me that because he is a staunch feminist, he would never open a car door for a woman and he would expect any woman who experienced such an insult to experience a fit of righteous indignation. Yet, some women expect men to open car doors. For a woman who had come to regard men opening doors for women as a sign of courteous consideration, the man's insistence on never opening her door could lead to misunderstandings and eventual arguments.
Gender role expectations play a part throughout the relationship. Even on the first date, who picks up the check? And more importantly, who keeps picking up the check?
On our 5th or so date, one of my exes shared with me that one of things he really liked about our first date was that I had reached for my wallet when the bill came. He ended up picking up the bill, which he said he usually did unless the girl didn't even offer to pay. Ah, and the slippery slope of gender role expectations continues.
The thing is society, culture, family, etc. all express opinions and assumptions about what men should do and what women should do. Both men and women internalize these gender roles and consciously, sometimes unconsciously, act them out. And these actions are often what we use to gauge whether someone is "feminine" enough or "masculine" enough. So the simplest action (such as who picks up the tab) is endowed with meaning.
As a relationship progresses, gender role expectations will become even more of an issue. Who stays home with the kids? So it's always advisable to understand what your partner's role expectations are before diving into a relationship.
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